The Fear Might Not Be Failure. It Might Be Maintenance.

Some of us aren't afraid to fail.

We have experienced failure before and realize the world did not stop. Besides a bruised ego, we managed, bounced back, and carried on. Yet, as we carried on, there remained a low-grade antsy feeling, and fear that was felt deep down. It remained even into our success, which caused us to ask, "What am I worried about?"

Have you felt like this? Maybe you became nervous right when a creative goal started to become real? Maybe you started a YouTube channel, a creative business, a dance project, that side-hustle, or saving money aggressively and had momentum. Then somewhere along the way, you unconsciously stopped. Not dramatically. Not intentionally.

You just got busy, distracted, interested in other "good ideas." A year or two passes, and you look back thinking:

"Why did I stop that? I was actually making progress."

At first, you might think:

"Maybe I'm scared of success." Maybe.

Or what if, looking deeper, the fear isn't success itself? What if you're scared of succeeding and becoming trapped by the thing you worked so hard to build?

What if you fear that success will ask you to carry more than you want to hold?

Because somewhere along the way, success stopped meaning freedom, choice, and peace... and started meaning MORE responsibility, MORE expectations, and MORE pressure to keep it, especially for those of us who already spend our days giving to a full-time job, clients, families, and communities. In the back of your mind, you might hear a whispering in your ear... "If this creative endeavor takes off, will I lose spontaneity, rest, freedom?" Thoughts like these can cause nervousness and uneasiness to arise.

Next thing you know, you stay in planning mode, research mode, "almost there" mode. Again, not because you are lazy. Because in your mind, achievement equals pressure. And if achievement equals pressure, the pursuit of a dream never accomplished, oddly seems safer than attaining it.

You might tell yourself you need to work harder, thus pushing yourself harder. The way through this may not be learning how to push harder. The work might be in learning a new story you are telling yourself:

Consistency, success, achievement, and freedom can exist in the same room.

Here are a few practice strategies to consider in thinking about your success from a different angle:

1. Instead of asking, "Can I do this forever?" "Why not ask, can I do this for 20 minutes? You want to move your brain from "frozen with forever fear" to starting now for 20 minutes. It's all about breaking things down into small steps of momentum; 20 minutes today becomes 20 minutes every day for one week, etc.

2. Frame goals around identity, not intensity. Instead of "I need to become fluent in Spanish." Try, "I am becoming someone who practices Spanish 15 minutes a day." Consistency feels less threatening than the intensity to arrive at a place you do not see yourself yet.

3. Notice the moments you get restless (antsy). When distraction shows up, pause and ask: "What feels uncomfortable about continuing"? Verses, "Why am I lazy?" Maybe you are not lazy. Maybe there is an unspoken pressure you are anticipating that has not been vocalized. Allow yourself a moment to feel your way through it.

4. Practice proving to yourself that success does not equal bondage. It doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing creative lifestyle. Create systems with built-in freedom spots. For examp

   le, work on the business and have a day or two off. Creativity nights plus rest. Being ambitious 6 months out of the year, then playing for 2 weeks or a month. Then rise and repeat. Creating a budget for your life and one for "what the heck" (whatever the heck you want to spend it on)

You do not have to sacrifice freedom to build something meaningful. There is a way to live where you can grow and still belong to yourself. #youareworthit